Dear New York Post: It Is You Who Are The Purveyors Of Paltry Pizza

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Seeing your editorial June 24, we feel it is important, as the home of the Detroit-style pizza, to clear some things up.

Detroit pizza is strong. Yours flips, flops and folds, like your oompa-loompa colored, bloviating native son in the presidential race.

In Detroit, we don’t make a distinction of what is “real” pizza. We know New York and Chicago-style pizza exists. We also don’t need to say those are not real pizza because we know ours is clearly the better pie. Much better than the swimming pool of sauce that is the Chicago, and definitely your flat-looking, burnt-edged, flat-tasting round discs.

You chastise your Brooklyn neighbors; we welcome them as many keep moving to our city since you can’t seem to make much of New York City anything but a home for the Bourgeoisie.

In Detroit, the place that created the Arsenal of Democracy that made sure Hitler didn’t have a parade down your Broadway Avenue, we have a place for everyone.

God Bless those who are taking our flag and our pizza to your city. They’re ambassadors for a better way.

We Detroiters do not fear your words, as in no time, you’ll copy our Detroit style pizza and call it your own, like with so many of the trends you in the Big Apple do.

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