Hey friends, Jer here.
Some of you might remember MADtv from the late 1990s. There was a recurring sketch back in the day called "Lowered Expectations," where a low-budget video dating service put absurd character after absurd character in front of you.
And that's how I felt watching the live stream of the press conference for the name change of Comerica Park. I wasn't expecting much.
But somehow, "Fifth Third Park" seems worse than Comerica Park.
For one, we're not unique, even in the sport of baseball. There's a Fifth Third Park for the High-A Affiliate of the Texas Rangers, the Hub City Spartanburgers in Spartanburg, South Carolina. It even has the URL, FifthThirdPark.com.
Then there's Fifth Third Field for our own AAA affiliate, the Toledo Mudhens.
It also doesn't roll off the tongue. As my co-host Norris imagined the call on the podcast today, "Yes, the Tigers go up seven to six after that three-run shot here at Fifth Third Field."
And then there's the blandness of it all. We were told in the press conference that it's "all about the community" in a number of ways.
So why isn't it," Tiger Stadium, brought to you by Fifth Third?" Or imagine the goodwill of maybe tying it to something else in Detroit history or Tigers fandom. There's only 130+ years to pull from, if you count their minor league origins in the 1890s.
Harwell Field? Kaline Park? I could go on.
I get it, it's a money game. Maybe this is just me being frustrated how creativity seems to be dying, squeezed between slop, hyper-optimization, and corporate greige.
Fifth Third Park it is. But it's a foul choice. And I bet the fans can come up with something better that speaks to their hearts.
You can listen to our whole conversation about it on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get shows.
What I'm Reading
🏪 Are we at the end of the bottle return era? A group representing Michigan grocers wants the state to phase out bottle and can returns inside stores, arguing the current setup creates sanitation problems, attracts pests and costs retailers labor, equipment and valuable floor space. [Detroit Free Press]
The Midwest Independent Retailers Association would like to see a two-year transition to a different system, maybe built around standalone redemption centers or curbside recycling. That would be a major change to a Michigan ritual that dates back a half-century.
Before the pandemic, Michigan redeemed more than 95% of eligible containers, but the rate fell to 69% in 2025.
I feel like some practical change is in order, but bottle return feels culturally very Michigan. Darn near 70% of people doing something is still a lot, especially in 2026.
🧑⚖️ Wayne County and Detroit are studying whether to consolidate court operations spread across four downtown buildings into one new facility, or possibly two. The proposal could affect about 675,000 square feet of space and more than 1,100 workers, but there is no selected site, price tag or timeline yet. [Crain's Detroit]
📚 Is it worth it? This one isn't written about Detroit specifically, but on a recent episode of the podcast we talked a lot about Detroit's public schools and equity. "In Fighting for Every Black Child, Did I Betray My Own?" is a deep piece that wrestles with whether it was worth it to send their kids to schools that weren't as good to try to benefit the wider community. [New York Times]
That's it for tonight. Thanks for sharing your inbox with me.
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Until next time, remember that you are somebody — and I'll see you around Detroit.
-Jer
