A reader sent us along a nascent Facebook page (with store) of a new line of clothing from the Portland area. It is an almost exact replica of the popular “Detroit Hustles Harder” shirt, but with their own, mecca-of-hipsterdom spin on it.

“Portland Hustles Softer.”


The “story” of the brand doesn’t mention too many specifics, but it does mention someone who moved from Detroit to Portland, and avoided getting dysentery (a reference to the iconic “Oregon Trail” video game). They have on their Facebook store a tank for $19.69, a hoodie for $47.69 and a sticker for $10, as well as a tee and a wideneck sweatshirt.

An excerpt from their about page:

“How are you adjusting to life in Portland, JuraSick?” he asked.

“Pretty good, I think…except I might be hustling too hard?”

“Hmmm…” the Dark Wizard of Light stroked his beard as he leaned back on a pile of stuffed animals in his pillow palace.

“People here don’t seem to be hustling very hard. Detroit hustles harder.”

“Well, you’re a Portlandian now. And Portland hustles softer.”

Hence, Portland Hustles Softer was born. It’s not just a product. It’s a lifestyle.

Check out the poses mid-massage.

Portland Hustles Softer

Or the totally absurd promo painting.

Portland Hustles Softer painting

Apparently, the shirts will only be available for a limited time.

All products are made with ringspun cotton, the softest material of all, and are locally printed here in Portland. Made for gents, ladies, furry creatures, and anything with a mid-section about the size of a human.

One important tidbit to know – to stay true to our name we are hustling for a limited time. All orders must be placed by midnight on February 21st. Then the magic will happen and you will have your new swag by March 4th.

The Detroit Hustles Harder brand was one of the first ones to get into the inspirational T-shirt game in Detroit, and there have been since many, many, many, many different Detroit-centric creations. It was created shortly after the founding of Aptemal Clothing in 2007 by co-owners and co-founders Brendan Blumentritt and Joseph “J.P.” O’Grady.

So what do we think Detroit?


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